Sloth
by Hella Jelena
Summary: "What did you do?" Kirk tensed. Surely, Spock - it - knew it had been caught? "Kill Dr. McCoy," Spock said matter-of-factly looking directly at Jim.
1. Chapter 1

Star Trek doesn' t belong to me.

"Sloth" is part 2 of my idea of the end of Kirk's first five year mission, it is a sequel to "Pride" and a prequel to "Envy". As a mindful observer you have realized by now that these are three of the seven deadly sins, therefore you can anticipate 7 parts in total. :-)

o0o

"Sloth is defined as spiritual or emotional apathy. (...) Religious views concerning the need for one to work to support society and further God's plan and work also suggest that, through inactivity, one invites the desire to sin." (Wikipedia)

**Sloth**

Kirk couldn't find him anywhere. He'd searched for him in sickbay, but it wasn't his shift, which Kirk knew of course, but often enough Bones was in his sickbay when he actually didn't _have_ to be there. Only _now_ he wasn't. He hadn't been in his quarters, either. When no one had answered the door chime, Kirk had even used his override code, somewhat guiltily, but still, he _was_ the captain and also worried about his CMO. But it had been empty. He hadn't seen Bones in the last two days, ever since they had left Meriah Five.

He hadn't seen him on the bridge, in the rec room, or the mess, and also Spock had had no idea about his whereabouts. "I believe the doctor wants to be left alone, Captain." _Yeah, Spock, you're a genius_, Kirk had thought. If he wanted to be alone every now and then, then of course he had a right to. But Kirk was worried that Bones would work himself into such a dark and moody depression that he would be brooding for the next_months_.

And he missed him. Bones was actually the only person on board with whom he could have a drink and talk about all the things that where on his mind. Spock didn't drink, and what was worse, he always wanted to _solve_problems. Usually, that was something he valued much about Spock, however, _sometimes_, he just needed to tell someone how very overrated life was _in general_.

Complaining and whining was something he usually didn't do, but _when _he did it, he didn't need someone who pointed out to him, how he exaggerated, or what he could do to make it all better in a second. He wanted that person to _agree_.

Well, they'd talk, and have one or five glasses of whiskey, or Saurian brandy, or whatever, share some good stories, have a good laugh together and the next day, he'd wake up, feeling all better - except for the headache.

He was tired. And he was sure that Bones was too. After all, it had been Bones who had been assaulted by that Meriahn, and who had only just recovered. He'd said he was okay, but he almost always said that about himself, even if it was obivious to everyone else that he _wasn't_.

_Where are you, Bones? _Maybe Scotty had an idea. He wandered off to the engine room. Of course he could call Bones over the intercom, or have him located by security, but that didn't seem to be fair. _If he wants to play hide and seek, then he's got me hooked. _It gave him something to do.

Surprisingly, he found him. They were in Scotty's office looking at a plan of the Enterprise's interior on a screen.

"Jim! Did you know the Enterprise had a _sweet spot_?" Bones seemed excited. It made Kirk smile.

"Only if the artificial gravity doesn't work 100 %!" Kirk answered and looked questioningly at Scotty. The old spaceships all used to have this spot, where there was no gravity and where you could float and relax and dream about a better future, in which the system of artificial gravity would be so efficient, that these sweet spots would become extinct.

"Oh, it does, Captain. Only, I have to do some maintenance work on the generator, and the artificial gravity could be affected to a small degree."

"And _where _will it be affected?"

"Right here." Scotty pointed to an area on the plan.

"That's cargobay 1."

"Aye. It will not disturb anyone or anything. Cargobay 1 is empty at the moment."

"How long will it take?"

"An hour or two. But it won't be for another two or three days. I have to make preparations."

"Right. Just warn me, before you do it," Kirk said, watching Bones who seemed to look disappointed. Then, as an afterthought, he added: "And make sure to warn us, when gravity will be restored again, also."

"Be glad to, Captain." Scott chuckled, then nodded, and left to do something in the engine room.

"Here you are!" Kirk said to McCoy, who looked absolutely his normal self. If not, then he seemed to be in a better mood than normally.

"Yeah, Scotty told me about that maintenance work. And I came here to find out where that sweet spot is going to be."

"Bones, I didn't know you could get so excited about something like this!" Kirk was surprised, but pleased. He had prepared himself to work on lifting his CMO's spirits, but roles had been reversed.

"Are you kidding? The prospect of zero gravity was actually what made me join Starfleet!"

"Only, we have artificial gravity on all our vessels."

"Yes, but it is more likely to come across such a _sweet spot _when you're a doctor on a spaceship than when you're a country doctor in Georgia."

"What's so special about it?"

"Don't tell me, you don't know! It's like being drunk, only you won't have a foul taste in your mouth and a headache the next day. You can float around, and you and all your burdens weigh nothing."

"What burdens?" Jim asked, feeling concerned again.

"Jim, don't give me that. It has been a long week ..."

"I'm just concerned. Can't I be concerned for my friend?"

"You can. But it won't change anything. Moreover, _I'm_ usually the one who does the _being concerned_ thing."

"So? Now you know how it feels to be on the other side."

"I can't say I like it. Though, I feel touched. Do you know what Spock did this morning?"

"Bridge to Captain Kirk."

"Hold that thought," Kirk said and went to the comm to answer the call. "Kirk here."

"Captain, we're receiving a distress call from the P'Jem."

"I'll be right there. Kirk out."


	2. Chapter 2

The P'Jem was escorting a Romulan ship back to Romulan territory. It was a Romulan scout that was suspected of having spied on the Federation _and_ the Klingon Empire. Moreover, they had the Vulcan flu on board, which had killed about a third of the crew and incapacitated most of the remaining crew members. Commander Tamulok had not been the most grateful when the Federation had helped them fight the disease, but he had accepted to be escorted back, nonetheless.

Kirk had suspected them to try to self-destruct or at least die fighting. Maybe he had overestimated Romulan pride. However, when he heard about the P'Jem's distress call he just knew she had to have been attacked by the Romulans.

"The distress call is automated, Captain. We don't know any details," Uhura reported when Kirk entered the bridge.

"When can we get to them?" Kirk asked.

"They're in the neutral zone. We can arrive there in an estimated 5 hours and 58 minutes at maximum speed."

"Do it. Any other signals from that area, Spock? Any Romulans?"

"No, Captain. The only other ship our sensors detect is the Romulan scout, that the P'Jem was escorting. Both ships seem to be intact, they're in orbit of a planet."

"What planet?"

"Unknown, Captain. The planets in that area of the neutral zone have not been mapped, yet."

"So, there hasn't been a fight?" Kirk asked, surprised.

"It does not seem so. However, sensor readings at this distance are not fully reliable."

Kirk nodded. Curious. The P'Jem was a Starfleet vessel with a mostly Vulcan crew. Her captain, Saluk, was a cold and arrogant son of a bitch, he'd thought. Of course, Bones had said that he was only being a typical Vulcan, but Bones hadn't known all the facts.

Kirk had had to make a few calls to Starfleet Command to make Saluk back off and refrain from sending that iceberg T'Plok, one of the Vulcan medical officers, over to evaluate the mental state of Enterprise's chief medical officer.

Bones didn't need yet another person to mess with his mind. He was alright, Spock had said so. And although Kirk considered Spock a very good friend of Bones', even if it wasn't _that_ obvious most of the time, he knew that Bones hadn't particularly enjoyed his mind meld with Spock. However, it had helped their doctor recover from the mind rape, and there was no need for further "evaluation".

Of course, it could be dangerous for all of them if Bones wasn't 100% his normal self and had a nervous breakdown or something like that at a critical moment. Sometimes the lives of an entire starship crew depended solely on its medical staff. Spock knew that, and Bones sure as hell knew that as well. They'd both claimed he was fit for duty, which was enough for Kirk. He trusted them both with his life, and what was more, with the lives of his crew, also.

When Starfleet had finally ordered the P'Jem to escort the Romulans back to their territory, he'd been relieved, they had got rid of the Romulans _and_ the Vulcans that way. However, now it seemed as if they were about to meet again. _You always meet twice._

"Lieutenant Uhura, have you tried hailing the Romulans?" Kirk asked.

"They're not answering our hails, sir."

"Are _they_ sending a distress call?"

"No, they're silent."

Kirk pursed his lips. _Well, we've still got a few hours, we'd better use them._

"Kirk to sickbay."

"M'Benga here, sir."

"Doctor, we're answering a distress call from the P'Jem. We don't know the nature of the emergency yet, but prepare for casualties, mostly Vulcans ... possibly also some Romulans! We'll be arriving at the given coordinates in about 6 hours."

"Understood, sir."

"Kirk out."

They would start preparations and Bones was probably already on his way to sickbay again. Whatever awaited them, they needed to be fully alert.

"Gentlemen," Kirk took a look around the bridge and his eyes settled on his communications officer, "and lady, ..." She smiled back. Being the only "girl" on the bridge, at least most of the time, had its advantages. Everyone tried to be charming, including, maybe even _especially_, her captain. "Keep your eyes and ears open, I don't want to run into the Romulan fleet, an ion storm, or whatever else it was that attacked the P'Jem."

"Maybe they weren't attacked. Maybe it is a technical problem, or a medical emergency?" Chekov speculated.

"No." Kirk answered and left his seat.

"Why are you so sure, Captain?" Spock asked him.

"A gut feeling," Kirk answered. "Lieutenant, call me in five hours. I will take a short rest."

"Yes, sir," Uhura replied. But she was sure she wouldn't have to. The captain would be on the bridge again in _three_ hours, if not earlier. Although he'd had a full shift behind him, he probably wouldn't be able to find a lot of sleep, until this mission was over.

o0o

Kirk felt uneasy when he approached sickbay. At times like these, he was only in their way most of the time. The medical staff would be in "emergency mode" functioning with efficiency and communicating with words and phrases that were a complete different language to him. Usually, he would just let them do their work. But once again, he was concerned. Bones would do great as always, of that he was sure, he just hoped it wouldn't prove to be too much for him when the crisis was over.

He caught him in the corridor.

"Shouldn't you be on the bridge?" McCoy asked, as they hurried to sickbay together.

"We still have a few hours. I thought I'd get some rest."

McCoy stopped and turned to look at him. "Look, Jim, I really appreciate your concern. But: _I_ ... _am_ ... _alright_. Really. Now, I know you're lying when you say that you want to go to sleep when there is an emergency coming up. What surprises me, is that _you_ don't know that _I_ know."

Kirk studied the floor. He really had intended to go back to the bridge after a little talk with Bones. _You're more of a mind reader than you care to know_, _Bones_.

"Sorry. I ... _you_ just scared the hell out of me on Meriah Five, Bones. I only want to be a good friend, that's all. I know I haven't been the best friend lately."

"What are you talking about? If it hadn't been for you, I'd probably be on that Vulcan ship going to some Starfleet mental asylum."

"It was Spock who helped you, not me."

"I was talking about that Vulcan doctor and the mental evaluation thing. If she'd melded with me, I swear I would have fought her and gone nuts again."

Kirk blinked. _How did he find out about that?_ "You weren't nuts. You were confused, because someone had raped your mind. And I didn't help you, but yelled at you to leave the bridge."

"So? You were right, it would have been better for me if I'd left."

"And I lied to you, when you woke up in sickbay."

"Only because you didn't want to hurt me. M'Benga even advised you to keep your mouth shut."

"And I even thought about making you feel guilty, so that you'd consent to the mind meld with Spock."

"And? I often think about giving Spock a hypo that knocks him unconscious in mid-sentence. But I haven't done that - so far." His mind wandered off to the botanical gardens on Meriah Five where Spock had found him and had actually pulled him up against his chest, promising him that he was safe. He exhaled.

"Jim, I'll tell you what I remember about this whole, Meriah ordeal: _You_, desperately trying to convince me that it was not my fault that the Meriahn stole sensitive Starfleet information from my brain. _You_ being there when I woke up in sickbay. _You _carrying me from the bridge to Spock's quarters. _You_ wiping the tears from my face and promising me to go with me on holiday wherever I wanted. _Your_ heartbeat in my ear, keeping me calm and focussed while Spock performed the mind meld. And _you_ coming to my quarters with a tray of dinner and keeping me company until I fell asleep again."

Kirk opened his mouth to say something. But decided against it. Instead, he closed it again, smiled and nodded. Bones didn't like talking about that "Meriah ordeal" or any other ordeal which hadn't gone well for him, he just wanted to forget. What he'd said was the most he'd ever talked about it and probably ever would, and only for his sake. He'd come here to be a good friend, and now Bones had only convinced _him_ that _he_ was a good friend, forgiving, and knowing him better than he knew himself.

"What did Spock do this morning?" Kirk decided to change the subject. He _was_ curious to know what Spock had done. He knew that Spock was concerned for Bones as well. But Spock just observed and let him alone. Patience, it was a Vulcan virtue, or maybe just Spock's.

"He asked me if I had any disturbing dreams."

Kirk just shrugged his shoulders. For Spock it was an unusual question to ask, but not completely out of the ordinary, it just showed that Spock cared for Bones' well-being.

"Yes, not too unusual, I know. But when I said I hadn't any dreams at all, he started to tell me about _his_ dreams."

Kirk frowned. "I thought, Vulcans didn't dream."

"I don't know, Jim. I'm suspicious that he just invented something to get me to talk to him. It was most strange. I try to avoid him. It's weird to be around him when he's all caring and nice."

"Don't be too hard on him."

"Well, I'm sure he will start arguing with me again, soon."

"You mean, _he_ always starts?"

"Of course. I'm all for peace and harmony, Jim. You know me."

"Yes, that's why I'm so surprised. Oh, and I'm really looking forward to floating around and relaxing when this is all over."

"That sweet spot in cargobay 1? Yeah, me too. Trust me Jim, it's better than sex."

"Well, it makes doing this with you all the more weird. Maybe we should invite Spock too?"

"Now,_ that_ would be fun. And Jim, I said it's _better_ than sex, not _like_ sex."

"I hope so." Kirk smiled. He gave Bones a pat on the shoulder when he turned to go to sickbay.

For a while he stood there in the corridor, thinking. Spock did not dream, at least he didn't think so. But what was more, Spock did not invent stuff to make people talk. It was like lying, wasn't it?


	3. Chapter 3

"I can detect no life signs, Captain. Neither on the P'Jem nor on the Romulan scout," Spock said. Both ships stood peacefully in orbit of the equally peaceful looking class M planet, there were no signs of a fight, and no signs of a civilization on the planet.

"Life support is functioning?"

"Yes, Captain."

"Alright. Uhura, call Doctor McCoy to the transporter room. We're beaming over to the P'Jem. Mr. Spock, you're with me."

Kirk was on his way to the turbolift when he gave the order. He was concerned, but also somewhat excited. Once more the three of them would make up a landing party. Some of the things he enjoyed the most about his job as captain of the Enterprise were the adventures he had with the two men who had become his best friends. They were good at what they did, although sometimes it was dangerous and missions didn't always go as planned. However, so far it had all ended well. He only feared the day when it wouldn't, when one of them would lose his life, but on the other hand, he was an optimist. _It will always end well._

"Captain, ...," Spock's voice held a warning tone.

Kirk turned, already in the turbolift to face Spock. "Yes?"

"I advise to leave Dr. McCoy on board the Enterprise."

Kirk looked at him in surprise. Spock entered the lift and continued talking after the doors had closed. "The doctor has not yet fully recovered from the attack on Meriah Five. He seems to be - stressed out. Him being with the landing party would risk his health as well as the successful outcome of our mission."

Kirk chewed his lower lip. He had only just convinced himself that Bones was alright, and now _Spock_ was voicing his concerns? _Spock isn't a psychologist, he is merely being overprotective_, he decided, thinking about the story McCoy told him a few hours ago, about Spock wanting to discuss his dreams this morning. "Really, Spock, I think a little diversion is just the right therapy for our good doctor."

Spock bowed his head and didn't say anything further.

o0o

They materialised in the transporter room of the P'Jem. She was smaller than the Enterprise, so it did not take them long to arrive at the bridge. On their way there, they encountered nothing unusual.

The bridge was deserted. The automated distress call was still active. Kirk turned it off and then he went over to the captain's chair, looking for any sign of a fight, violence, damage, whatever, but he could find nothing.

"Jim!" McCoy stood at the helm console holding up a plate. There was a half-eaten donut on it. With pink glazing.

"Is that what I think it is?"

"Didn't you say the crew of the P'Jem was mostly Vulcan?"

Kirk nodded walking over to McCoy and took a look at the plate. He would have laughed, if it hadn't been so strange.

"Well, I think their protocol is a bit lax, don't you? At least, I've never seen anyone eat pastry on the Enterprise's bridge before."

"The captain often drinks coffee, doctor. And maybe one of them was a diabetic and needed something to keep up his blood sugar." Spock didn't seem to be too surprised.

"Diabetic?" McCoy raised his eyebrow and looked at Spock as if he'd gone mad.

"Mr. Spock, let's listen to the last entries of their computer log!" Kirk needed to know what had happened here. _Where was the crew?_

"Yes, Captain." Spock was standing at one of the consoles, pushing buttons, trying to activate the computer log.

"_The computer log contains no entries,_" the voice of the computer provided.

"What?" Kirk was confused. This was impossible, unless someone had deliberately deleted the log entries.

"The computer log is empty," Spock said.

"We understood, Spock. What Jim meant was: How is that possible?" McCoy was eyeing Spock now with a mixture of curiosity and suspicion. Something wasn't right.

"Somebody must have deleted all entries," Spock concluded staring back at McCoy.

"But _who_? Or better, but _why_?"

"Is there a way to retrieve the lost entries, Mr. Spock?" Kirk was becoming impatient.

"I can try."

"You do that. Bones, let's take a look at their sickbay. Maybe there was some kind of medical emergency that their doctor recorded."  
"If that wasn't deleted as well," McCoy mumbled, following Kirk off the bridge.

"Well?" Kirk asked the doctor on their way to the P'Jem's sickbay.

"Well, what?"

"There's something on your mind."

"Other than the mystery at hand? No."

"What do you make of it, then?"

"I don't know. I think he's maybe stressed out."

"What? You mean Spock?"

"Don't you think he's acting a bit, I don't know, _off_?"

"Funny that you say that. I was talking about the mystery of the P'Jem's missing crew."

"Right. I don't know enough facts, yet."

Kirk looked at his CMO in surprise. "You just sounded like Spock, there."

"I did not."

"You now, on the Enterprise, he voiced his concern that _you_ were a little stressed out." Kirk didn't tell him that Spock wanted Bones to stay on the Enterprise, he'd just take offense.

"There you see that something isn't quite right."

They arrived at sickbay's doors. Kirk nodded to McCoy to stand behind. He had a strange feeling suddenly and wanted to be cautious. The doors opened with the normal "swoosh". Kirk saw the empty bio-beds, and relaxed just a bit. Then he heard Bones let out a gasp behind him, and out of the corner of his eye he saw him move past into sickbay, already kneeling down. That's when he looked at the floor. There were people lying there, obviously dead, but Bones was nonetheless going from one body to the next scanning them with his medical tricoder.

Bones could be an amazing optimist at times, Kirk thought. It was hopeless. Not only had the sensors of the Enterprise told them that there were no living beings on board, but from just one look at the bodies and the amount of blood - red blood - on the floor, he could tell, they were as dead as a person could be. They had been stabbed. Three, no, four of them. Two men and a woman. Humans, probably all humans that had been part of the otherwise Vulcan crew.

"What did you find, Bones?" Kirk saw the doctor frown at some readings on his medical tricorder.

Bones looked at him, with pain in his eyes. It made Kirk's breath hitch. _He's seen so many people die, and these he didn't even know. How can it still get to him that hard?_

"They're dead. And they died in the obvious way. But I have some readings that I need to analyse."

Kirk nodded, then stepped around the puddles of blood to sickbay's computer and pushed a button.

"_The computer log contains no entries."_

Kirk looked at McCoy, who looked up at that. "They must have deleted everything, before they left."

"Left to where?"

"The planet. Where else?"

Kirk took out his communicator. "Kirk to Spock."

"Spock here."

"Any luck with the computer log?"

"Negative, Captain."

"Well, we're getting back to the Enterprise. Meet us in the transporter room."

"Yes, Captain."

Bones had picked up the dead body of the nurse, and stood at sickbay's doors waiting for Kirk.

"You don't have to do that. We'll send a team over to retrieve the bodies," Kirk said. He felt a lump in his throat at the sight.

"I know, Jim. I want to do an autopsy, right away."

Kirk nodded. "You didn't know her, did you?"

McCoy snapped at him: "Why? Do you have to know people in order to feel sorry that they have been brutishly murdered?"

"Of course not." He lead the way back to the transporter room.

o0o

Spock awaited them. When he saw the doctor and the captain arrive, the doctor carrying a dead woman, he did not move a muscle.

When Kirk took out his communicator and ordered Scotty to beam them back, Spock spoke to McCoy under his breath:

"Leave the body here."

"Why?"

Before Spock could answer they already started to dematerialise.


	4. Chapter 4

Minor references to "Journey to Babel" and "The ultimate computer"

o0o

The first away team searched the Romulan scout. Maybe _they_ hadn't deleted their logs. Uhura spoke Romulan, hopefully she could retrieve some useful information. He'd sent Scotty with her, who'd been on the Romulan scout to help with some repairs only a few days ago. Of course, he'd been under surveillance by the Romulans then. He'd been eager to go on board again, with now being able to snoop around everywhere he wanted. The sensors showed no life-forms on board. However, just to be sure, he had sent three security guards along with them.

The second away team needed to find the rest of the P'Jem's crew - and the missing Romulans. They'd scanned the planet's surface. 132 lifeforms had been detected, possibly the lost crew, very likely even, for there was no intelligent life on the planet elsewhere. The mystery was, why had they left their fully functional ships?

Since it was likely that some of them were injured, he'd requested McCoy to join the landing party, as well as Spock. Being Vulcan, no, half-Vulcan, he could connect with these people, at least he so suspected. Of course, Kirk would also go himself, he was just too curious to stay on board. Besides, it would boost Chekov's self-confidence, being in charge of the bridge. He'd make a fine officer out of him yet.

Kirk was waiting in the transporter room for his CMO and first officer to arrive. Bones had carried the dead body of that nurse to his lab and Spock had followed him on his heels. Strange. Spock was behaving somewhat like a mother hen around Bones.

Kirk shook his head. And Bones had complained to _him_ that _he _was being overly concerned.

He wasn't surprised when they both arrived at the same time. McCoy was a little ahead of Spock.

"Jim, I'd rather stay here," he said straight on when he saw Kirk waiting for them.

"What? Why?" McCoy _never_ wanted to stay behind. Most of the time he had to invent something for the computer log to make him being a part of the landing party seem justified and logical. He didn't mind. And except for that half-assed M5 computer no one had ever questioned his decisions about the composition of the landing parties. At least no one had ever voiced it openly.

"Well, for one, M'Benga is the expert on Vulcan physiology, not me."

True, however, it had been McCoy and not M'Benga who had performed open-heart surgery on Spock's father, which proved that McCoy at least knew where the Vulcan heart was. Maybe Bones didn't feel quite himself yet?

"And?" Kirk searched McCoy's face.

"I think I have found something important in that body."

"What did you find?"

"A virus. Vulcan flu, if I'm correct, but not quite. It has mutated."

"Well, the Romulans had the Vulcan flu on board and the P'Jem helped them contain it. Maybe the nurse got infected when she was aboard that Romulan scout?"

"That is possible. However, as I said, it is not quite the Vulcan flu."

"Is it dangerous for us?"

"No, it is dead. And I believe it is not compatible to human physiology. It is highly unlikely that a human contracts Vulcan flu. However, humans can be carriers."

"So it may be dangerous for Vulcans?"

"Yes. Look, I want to complete my analysis here. Let M'Benga join you, if he finds the Vulcans to be sick, it's good to already know something about the pathogen."

That sounded - logical. Kirk smiled to himself.

"Alright," he said hesitatingly as he watched Spock who looked - what? Alarmed?

"Captain, maybe I should stay here as well. I could assist the doctor," Spock said quickly, schooling his features back to looking only mildly concerned.

"Actually, Spock, that would be a good idea. If you go down there, you might contract whatever it is they have," McCoy said, "and Jim, you be careful as well! We don't know about the mutation of this virus, but for a human, contracting Vulcan flu is _unlikely -_ but not completely unheard of. So, be careful - no kissing!"

"Why, Bones, you make it sound like I'm some sort of hormone driven letch," Kirk played being offended.

"Those are your words. Not mine."

"That's right. _You_ said zero gravitiy is better."

"I'm an old man, Jim. Bear with me. And more important: _Listen_ to me!"

"Always, Bones. So, I'll see you two when I come back."

McCoy nodded, then left the transporter room, hearing Jim requesting M'Benga to meet him there. Spock was following him closely.

This case had become quite - interesting. He refused to use the word "fascinating", not even in his thoughts. He had a feeling that this virus he'd isolated had something to do with the disappearance of the crews of the two deserted ships - and the murder of the four humans.

"Spock, there's one thing I don't understand," he said when they'd arrived in the laboratory again.

"Only _one_?" Spock sounded too arrogant, even for himself, McCoy noticed, but decided to ignore it, for once. Other things were on his mind.

"The Romulan Commander said the _Vulcan flu_ had killed a third of his crew."

"Not Commander Tamulok, but _Delihan_ said that," Spock provided impatiently.

"Whoever." McCoy felt a shudder go through him when Spock spoke the name of the man who had forced a mind meld on him, less than a week ago. "I just wonder where they contracted it. The Meriahn didn't know the disease, so they must have had it from somewhere or someone else. Probably even Vulcans."

"Probably," Spock said indifferently, looking at the doctor with a coldness that made McCoy shudder again. _What's wrong with me? It's not that Spock ever looks at me particularly affectionately,_ McCoy thought.

He stepped further away from Spock, to take a look at the computer screen, which showed the alien pathogen, and he found himself feeling more comfortable the more distance he put between Spock and himself. _Don't be a fool. Spock would never do anything hurt you. _He tried to distract himself.

The virus on the screen was very similar to the virus that caused the Vulcan flu, could be its brother, actually. _Well, there's a thought that could make Spock give me a speech about the inappropriateness of the metaphor, or comparison, or whatever it was._

He decided to start a conversation, in order to feel more at ease. "Spock, did you know, that a virus is generally not considered to be a life-form?"

"I do not agree with you."

"Well, you rarely do, don't you? However, I didn't say, that _I_ don't consider a virus to be a life-form. A virus reproduces, doesn't it? Not by itself of course, it needs living cells to do that for it, but I think that is just a smart trick. Now, often enough, even _we_ let other people take care of our reproduction. Think of in-vitro insemination and incubators! Actually, you could say that, like a virus, we give our DNA to someone else who then fabricates our offspring. It is much more clever, since it bears less risk for the mother, don't you think?"

"Do you have a point?"

"No. I'm just thinking aloud. It often proves to be useful," McCoy said, studying the image of the virus, already having forgotten the hostility that he'd thought he'd sensed from Spock before.

"If the Vulcan flu virus mutated, then something went wrong in the fabrication of its baby."

"This is not a deficient product," Spock said, closing the distance to McCoy again.

"No, it isn't, is it? I mean, if anything, it looks as if the Vulcan flu virus was _its_ deficient offspring. This one looks, I don't know, more complex, almost esthetically pleasing."

"Yes."

"Well, ..." McCoy started, and turned, only to find Spock standing behind him at such a close distance that their noses were almost touching, "we, uh, got to find a way to kill it, don't we?"

"That will prove to be difficult for you."

"You may be right. Of course, I could think of many ways to kill it, but they would probably kill its host, too."

McCoy had stepped back just a bit, but Spock was still very near to him. He saw him swaying a little, his pupils were slightly dilated. McCoy reached out to steady him.

"You alright?"

"I need nutrition, I think my blood sugar is too low."

Spock's words spurred a chain of associations in McCoy's brain. _Sugar - sweet - sweet spot - zero gravity_. He looked at the image again. This could work! Could it be so easy?

"Spock! That delicate structure! I think if we subjected it to a zero gravity environment, the viral envelope would possibly burst. Then, it ..."

He didn't finish his sentence. Spock had gone a few steps back, but now he was holding a scalpel in his right hand, which was pointed at him. He was breathing hard, sweating a bit and, to McCoy's relief, he seemed to be confused, not determined to kill ... yet.

"Is this what you dreamed about, Spock?" he asked. He remembered what Spock had told him this morning about that dream he'd had. It had involved a knife, and stabbing, and lots of blood. McCoy hadn't given it much thought then, hell, he'd thought that Spock had _invented_ it to get_ him_ to talk about his nightmares, which he didn't have, actually. Unless of course _this_ was one.

"You will not kill us. We will prevent it," Spock said in a detached manner.

No, no nightmare. He wouldn't wake up in his quarters ... maybe never again. "Did _you_ kill the four people on the P'Jem?" he asked, not really sure _who_ he was talking to. _This is Spock, he won't hurt you_, he thought but he slowly took a step backwards. If Spock, or _whoever_ was in Spock's _body_, decided to attack, he was dead. He was no match for the Vulcan, even if Spock didn't have that scalpel but only his bare hands.

"They deserved no better, just as _you_ don't," Spock - no, _it_ said, then started to approach him.

"Spock! Listen, you must fight it!" McCoy implored, looking his Vulcan friend into the eyes. _God, he's going to kill me!_ _When he wakes up and realizes what he's done, it will kill him. And then Jim will be all alone and get himself killed in some reckless away mission._

He almost laughed, he'd often heard of the myth that you see your own life in fast motion before your eyes the moment you die. Well it wasn't true. _He_ saw thefuture life of his best friends - and it wasn't good.

For a moment, everything stopped. Time seemed to stand still. He could briefly see recognition in Spock's dark eyes.

Then he felt his back hit the wall.

Spock blinked. "Run!" he whispered, then: "Please, Leonard."

He wanted to say so much. Like: _I know, it's not you. Don't blame yourself._ Or: _Tell Jim, I would have enjoyed our trip to Yosemite._ Or: _Promise me, you'll visit Joanna one day and tell her about our days on the Enterprise. _Or only just: _Goodbye, my friend! _

But he couldn't. All air seemed to have been sucked out of him. He felt no pain at first, just the absence of air. Then there was a thundering sound in his ears and his vision turned red. Blood red. He saw the scalpel, also blood red and silvery. Kind of nice, actually, so shiny. Pain exploded in his side and he felt the taste of blood in his mouth. Then, blessedly, his world slowly faded to grey.


	5. Chapter 5

Reference to "The Empath"

o0o

Kirk couldn't believe his eyes. They found all 132 people, Vulcans and Romulans, on the surface. They weren't exactly sick, although that's what M'Benga claimed they were.

"Their metabolism is way off, Captain. And they all have a slight fever."

"And why are they just _sitting_ there? They do nothing, except eating these pink fruit!"

"I don't know. But they all have the Vulcan flu. Although they do not show any symptoms."

M'Benga checked the readings on his medical tricorder for the hundredth time. It showed there was a virus in their system. A virus that _looked_ like the Vulcan flu.

Kirk bowed down to Captain Saluk, who was sitting on a stone, now noisily slurping up the juice that the pink fruit in his hands was oozing.

"Captain Saluk! Do you understand me?"

The Vulcan looked up at him. Then slowly nodded.

"What happened? We found your ship, the P'Jem, deserted in orbit."

Saluk just shrugged and started peeling small bits off the fruit.

It was an unusual sight. He remembered Spock once saying that Vulcans were careful not to eat with their bare hands. "Finger Food" was unknown in their cuisine, and even seemed vulgar from their perspective.

"What kind of fruit is that? Maybe it contains some kind of poison?" Kirk hypothesised pointing at the egg shaped pink fruit that grew everwhere on the ground and that every Vulcan or Romulan had picked and was nibbling at, being almost oblivious to their presence.

"Nothing that I can detect," M'Benga said, running a scanner over one of the half-eaten fruit that had rolled from another Vulcan's hands, "though I can't say it is healthy. Too much sugar."

Kirk shook his head. "You mean they're going to get caries?" He hadn't been prepared for _this_. Violence, death, illness or even murder, yes. But here were 132 Romulans and Vulcans having a peaceful picknick together on the grass. All had some pink juice on their hands, around their mouths and on their clothes, it would have been funny, if not for the vacant look in all their eyes.

"Not right away, of course. But I guess the high amount of sugar will only benefit the spread of the virus in their systems."

Kirk opened his communicator. "Kirk to Dr. McCoy."

Nothing.

Bones was probably occupied in the biochemical lab right now.

"Captain, there's one thing about that virus."

"What?"

"Well, if it is the Vulcan flu, the Vulcans here shouldn't be affected. They should all have been vaccinated."

"They are not showing any symptoms," Kirk said, but he was not so sure. They _were_ showing symptoms, only not the symptoms of the flu.

"Yes. But the virus is spreading inside their bodies at an amazing rate!" M'Benga looked at his scanner again.

"Well, Bones said this was some kind of mutation."

"I would like to discuss this further with him."

"Yes," Kirk said and took out his communicator again. He needed to call the security team back to them so that they could beam to the Enterprise.

While Kirk spoke, M'Benga turned to take a blood sample from the Vulcan captain, whom he believed to be sitting peacefully on that stone behind him. He wasn't there.

"Kirk to Enterprise." He heard the captain, who was standing with his back to him, order Chekov to beam them up on his signal. The three security guards who were walking towards him suddenly shouted something, drew their phasers and started running.

_What the ..._ out of the corner of his eye he saw Captain Saluk with a stone in his raised hand. He wanted to warn the captain, but only succeeded in letting out a yelp, before everything went black.

Kirk heard shouting, then a cry and the noise of something falling. When he turned he saw M'Benga lying in the grass with Saluk standing over him looking at the fallen man in mild curiosity. A Romulan who had been dully nibbling on the fruit just a minute before came towards him, others were following him. _Like zombies._

A phaser beam hit the Romulan, another Captain Saluk. Two of the guards came to a halt with their backs to M'Benga, shielding him in their middle. The third arrived at his side.

_What brought this on? _Kirk asked himself, already having ascertained their chances. 130 against four. _No_ chance, even with their phasers.

"Now!" he shouted to Chekov over his communicator and felt the tingling sensation almost immediately.

o0o

The very moment after they had materialised on the platform, Kirk barked an order at the transporter chief to alert medical. He bent over M'Benga who lay prone on the platform beside him. Blood had started to trickle from his nose. Not a good sign, he remembered.

His hands stopped in mid air. _Better not move him, _he thought, though he itched to smooth out the odd angle at which the doctor was lying on the floor. He was still breathing, Kirk observed with relief.

"What happened, Captain?" It was Dr. Pulliam. She'd answered the call together with a nurse and an orderly.

"He was attacked. Hit on the head, I believe."

The young female doctor ran a scanner over the deputy CMO.

Haven't seen much of _her_, Kirk thought. He recalled McCoy saying about her that she was so young he tended to overly protect and underestimate her. But he'd been of the opinion that she was a brilliant doctor, only lacking experience.

Of course, you didn't become one of the 4 doctors on Starfleet's flagship if you were only average. However, looking at the young girl scrutinizing her scanner, then taking out a hypo somewhat hesitatingly, he suddenly wished for Bones to be here.

"We're losing him," she said, and her scanner made a noise that Kirk knew didn't mean anything good.

"Set the vascular stabilizer _now_, we need to move him!" she said, waiting for the nurse, who was at least twice her age, to put the medical device on the doctor's forehead until she injected him with a hypo.

"Alert Dr. Taylor, we need to operate at once," she said to the transporter chief who immediately relayed the message.

Kirk moved out of the way and surpressed the urge to take the other end of the stretcher to which M'Benga had been transferred to. He would just stand in their way, he knew that, but he couldn't help feeling that he had to _do _something.

He followed them to sickbay which had been prepared for an emergency. Dr. Taylor was already waiting and led the way to the operating room while Dr. Pulliam briefed him on their colleague's condition.

Kirk brushed a hand over his face. He hated this. Of course it always hurt when one of his crew got injured in action, but when it concerned one of the medical staff he always felt extra sensitive. Not only did he owe them his life on more occasions than he cared to remember, but when things got rough, the whole ship depended on them. They had four doctors in total, and now _two_ of them were occupied operating on the _third_.

That made him think about the fourth doctor. Where was he anyway? He must have heard the emergency call. It disgruntled him that McCoy hadn't even asked what kind of emergency it was. This had nothing to do with having or not having faith in your staff, it just meant you _cared_.

He strode over to the biochemical lab, marching in, an angry remark on his lips, when his foot got caught by something on the floor, and he stumbled.

It was Bones. He was lying there in a heap, on his stomach, one arm was under him, the other was stretched out towards the door.

Kirk was on his knees beside McCoy in a nanosecond. There was a wetness on the floor. Something must have spilled, Kirk thought, gripping Bones by the shoulders and turning him around.

Blood. He could only gasp. Nothing had been spilled, it was blood! He could see it everywhere now, on the floor, the wall, the edge of the door, and all over the lower front of Bones' uniform. It was coming from a deep wound in his side.

It shouldn't be on the floor, it should be in his _body_. Kirk pressed down hard on the wound in a desperate attempt to keep the life saving fluid inside his friend's body. He heard a crack, but didn't pay much attention. Who cared for cracked ribs if Bones was bleeding out?

With the tip of his left foot he was able to kick at the door which then opened with its usual soft sound.

"Help!" he cried, already knowing that the two only people on board the Enterprise who could save Bones' life were needed in the operating room.

"Oh my god!" It was a nurse's voice coming from outside. She was holding her hands over her mouth in shock.

"Get a doctor!" Kirk shouted at her, "They're in the OR!"

He looked into Bones' face for the first time since he'd found him. It was ashen, he was sweating, frowning, and not at all peaceful.

"My god, Bones, please! Hang in there, you hear?"

Of course he didn't, couldn't. Maybe never again.

He heard commotion outside, Doctor Pulliam was coming through the door, stepping over Bones' legs, kneeling down at the other side. She carried an emergency medical kit.

An orderly and the nurse who had alerted her were also there, carrying a stretcher. It had become very crowded suddenly.

Kirk critically eyed Dr. Pulliam. She was running the medical scanner over Bones' body with one hand, while setting a hypo with the other. It didn't look too professional, but it saved time he guessed.

She injected her patient with the hypo, then deposited her scanner on Bones' chest, rummaging around in her emergency kit with her free hand and setting the hypo anew to give him yet another shot with the other. "I need more hands," she mumbled, then put the hypo in her mouth to turn around and retrieve an instrument from the kit.

"Kee' u' the 'ressure on 'at 'ound, Ca'ain!" she said to Kirk, who only nodded looking at his friend's face again.

Bones' brow creased even more. _No! He's waking up! _Jim thought. And although it should be a good sign, he felt horror at the thought of Bones waking up in this chaos with a hole in his body deep enough to swallow Mount Seleya.

Dr. Pulliam noticed too, but did not pay much attention. She only put a mask on his face, pressing down on it. In the other hand she was holding another instrument. Her knee was pressing down on McCoy's shoulder. The hypo had gone to the nurse who was standing above her, waiting.

"Captain, when I say "now", you will let go and move to his head to press the oxygen mask on his face."

"I'm ready."

"Good, keep him still, he must not move."

"Understood."

"Right." She breathed to calm herself. "Now!"

Kirk let go and was awarded with a spurt of blood immediately coming from the wound. Dr. Pulliam said something, the nurse was moving and he couldn't see the wound anymore. He forced himself to do as he was told, pressing down on the mask with one hand. He used the other hand and a knee to pin McCoy down, in case he should start moving.

He didn't immediately, only his eyelids fluttered. _Please Bones, don't wake up just yet, _he prayed.

Too late. Blue eyes opened, finding his almost instantly. They widened and he heard a small cough coming from under that mask.

"_Don't_ talk! - Don't speak! Just take it easy!" he said, feeling a sense of deja-vu. Only on Minara there hadn't been any blood.

A hand was tugging at his sleeve, weakly, but determined to make him remove that mask from his face.

"No, Bones. You need that!" He said, but for some reason he removed the mask anyway.

"J-Jim, that s-sweet s-pot ...," he heard him whisper. Bones was hardly able to find enough strength to form the words, but his eyes spoke volumes. Kirk just couldn't quite understand exactly what he meant, only that this was important.

Could these be the last words his friend was going to say?

"I know, Bones. All your burdens will float away." He smiled at him, feeling his eyes sting.

"Y-You don't under - stand!" There was a note of exasperation in that whisper. Then the pain must have hit him, because he was suddenly convulsing, scrunching his face and weakly pushing against Jim's hand.

"Shh, Bones, hey, _hey_! Just stay still. You're okay," Kirk knew he wasn't much help from the look on Bones' face.

He heard another hypo hiss and briefly turned to see one of the nurses nod at him. He nodded back gratefully. Bones led out a cry of pain which made something twist inside him.

"Shh, please. Just concentrate. What - what don't I understand?" With the back of his hand, that was still holding the oxygen mask, he stroked over his friend's cheek in order to distract him from the pain he was feeling.

Bones' face was starting to swim before his eyes.

"Th - That virus. M - Must kill it." Bones' eyes were beginning to close again.

"Zero gravity! It will do the trick?" Kirk saw things fall into place.

"Y-You're a gen - ius, Jim-boy." Bones was looking at him with his eyes half closed, his face was almost white now, but he was actually smiling at him. "D - Don't blame S - pock! - Tried, t-to warn me."

"Please, Bones, you're gonna be fine! Just _stop _talking!" Kirk begged, but he couldn't bring himself to press the mask on his mouth again - just yet.

"G - Good - bye!" Bones breathed, and then his eyes turned up and closed at the same time.

_He's only lost consciousness again_, Kirk was sure. It just _had_ to be that way.

The mask had gone back to where it should be and he strained to hear another breath.

He couldn't. But he _saw _a small puff of the nebulized air coming from the mask.

He heard someone else release a breath and turned to see Dr. Pulliam watching.

"Did he just say "Goodbye"?" she asked looking worried.

Kirk swallowed and turned away from her, on the one hand to look at Bones' face again, on the other hand to drag the back of his hand across his eyes, without the young doctor seeing it.

"No," he lied quickly.

"I've stopped the bleeding for now, but we need to get him into the OR at once!"

Dr. Pulliam was now giving orders, they transferred their patient to a stretcher and then rushed him to the other operating room.

Kirk followed them until he was stopped by the orderly, who looked at him apologetically and closed the door. "We'll let you know, sir."


	6. Chapter 6

- Reference to "Amok Time"

o0o

When the door to the operating room, where the much too young Dr. Pulliam was fighting for his best friend's life, closed, Jim turned on his heels, and left sickbay.

There was no use in him wearing off the floor in sickbay. But there was something he had to do. Find the one who had done this.

He briefly considered calling security, but if he called them over the intercom, he'd hear it too, and Kirk had already an idea about where to find his first officer, anyway.

He checked his phaser which was still on his belt and set it to "stun", and then swiftly walked to the mess.

True to Kirk's assumption, Spock was there, sitting at one of the tables, eating extremely sugary things, that Kirk had never seen Spock eat before: jelly, cake from which he'd only carved the icing, donuts with glazing, pink cotton candy and caramel apples, lay in a more or less eaten state on the table before Spock. Right now he was popping grapes into his mouth, one by one, all the while looking impassively at Uhura who was observing him with a mixture of amusement and genuine interest.

"Is this some kind of experiment, Mr. Spock?"

He just shook his head and plucked another grape from its vanicle.

"Well, I hope Dr. McCoy approves of this?" The lieutenant didn't want to drop the subject.

"Hardly," Spock said, looking up for a second, meeting Jim's eyes. There was a certain coldness about Spock's stare which made Jim's blood freeze in his veins.

"Nyota," he said calmly, deliberately using his communications officer's first name to make sure to catch her attention, "you've got duty on the bridge."

"Yes, sir," she said looking at him cautiously. Then she stood up to stand behind Kirk, not going on to the bridge, but waiting for what was about to happen. She saw that the captain had drawn his phaser. Spock had resumed eating, not at all impressed by the captain's appearance.

"Hungry?" Kirk asked him, stepping closer.

Spock just shrugged and reached to the other side of the table for a piece of cake. That's when Kirk's eyes caught the blood stain on Spock's sleeve.

"Where'd you do that?" Kirk asked, indicating the dark blotch. He tried to sound mildly curious, but in fact he felt anger building up inside him. _It wasn't Spock's fault, get a grip on your feelings,_ he thought.

Spock looked at his sleeve then shrugged again. "In the biochemical lab."

"What did you do?" Kirk tensed. Surely, Spock - it - knew it had been caught?

"Kill Dr. McCoy," Spock said matter-of-factly looking directly at Jim. Uhura gasped behind him and went to the comm. She would call security, Kirk knew. He ground his teeth, and slowly exhaled through his nose. He had to know: "Where is my first officer?"

"Right here. He killed Dr. McCoy with a scalpel. Stabbed him right into his heart," Spock said slowly, then convulsed for a short moment.

Kirk took another step forward. "Spock?"

"I ... killed him, Jim." It was Spock, Kirk realized, _his_ Spock, not that monster, looking at him with such pain in his eyes that it made Jim shudder. He'd rarely seen Spock so emotional. The last time, maybe, when Spock had thought he'd killed him on Vulcan, just before he had recognised that it was in fact, Jim, very much alive, standing before him in sickbay. The pain had briefly made room for joy, and then Spock had gotten himself under control again.

"Kill me," he whispered, begged, but then the coldness returned to his features and he launched forward, his hands outstretched toward Kirk's throat.

He never reached him. But collapsed from the phaser beam Kirk had fired. Jim caught him, then lowered him to the floor. Finally, the security guards arrived.

"Should I call sickbay, Captain?" Uhura asked from the door.

Kirk tentatively felt for a pulse. It was there, steady. "No," he said, "they've got enough to do. We need to get him to the anti-gravitation chamber."

"Sir?"

"It's the virus, Lieutenant, I can't explain it, but Bones said, zero gravity would kill it."

"Then Dr. McCoy is alive?"

Kirk looked at her, his eyes wide. "I hope he will be, Uhura. I really do hope so. For both of them."

_And for me_, Kirk thought. He remembered the look on Spock's face when he'd begged him to kill him. If Bones died, it would probably mean he'd lose _both _his closest friends, Kirk realized.


	7. Chapter 7

I just saw "The Lights of Zetar" again, and slightly changed chapter six. Why use cargobay 1 if there is an antigrav chamber on board? :-)

- Small reference to "Space Seed"

o0o

Kirk watched Spock's body float in the confines of the narrow chamber. _You can get claustrophobic in there_, Kirk thought, remembering how he himself had been trapped in it, thanks to that augmented human, Khan Noonian Singh. It wasn't one of his favourite moments.

Spock turned his head, he'd regained consiousness again, and when he turned to look at him, Kirk knew it was Spock again. The dark eyes showed an amount of remorse, grief and despair which momentarily stole Kirk's breath. He'd never believed that Spock wasn't capable of feeling such emotions, he'd only believed that he'd never see them displayed so clearly on his face.

He restored gravity and Spock was brought out of his emotional state the moment his body hit the bottom of the chamber. He had composed himself when Kirk helped him out of the small tube.

"Spock? Are you alright?" Kirk studied the Vulcan's eyes. Only yesterday he would have said they were emotionless, but now he knew better. He had seen them truely emotionless, cold as ice, in the mess when Spock had said he'd stabbed McCoy right into the heart. Now, they held a certain gentleness, compassionateness? Something that before he hadn't realized was there.

"I believe I am quite myself again, Captain," Spock said.

"What do you remember?" he asked him carefully.

"I remember ... stabbing Doctor McCoy with a scalpel in the biochemical lab, seconds after he found a way to neutralize the pathogen."

"You didn't kill him, Spock. Dr. Pulliam is operating on him at the moment," Kirk hoped he was right.

Spock closed his eyes briefly. "I am relieved to hear that, Captain. When I realized what was about to happen I tried to warn him. I told him to run, although I knew it was impossible for the doctor to escape my attack. I couldn't summon enough control over myself."

"Spock, don't reproach yourself, Bones wouldn't want that. In fact, before he passed out, he even told _me_ not to blame you."

Spock looked up at that. "Yes, he would do that."

"And I don't, Spock. That virus, it controls its host! Down on the planet, all Romulans and Vulcans were under its influence. They were phlegmatic, passive, like sloths, the only thing they did was eat extremely sugary fruit. M'Benga said the sugar probably boosted their rate of reproduction. When he tried to take a blood sample, he also was attacked."

"By one or by all of them, Captain?"

"By one, but the others also reacted. We beamed up before they could attack us. M'Benga is also in surgery."

"Interesting. It is possible that they communicate telepathically."

"A telepathic, intelligent virus?" Kirk found that hard to believe, however, a lot of phenomena they had encountered were hard to believe.

"They seem to only befall Romulans and Vulcans who have telepathic abilities. The humans on the P'Jem were killed, which leads to the possible conclusion that they knew that they posed a threat to them, they obviously possess the will to survive. Also, they made me delete the logs which shows they are capable of anticipatory thinking."

"_You_ deleted the logs?" Kirk was surprised. Since when had Spock acted out of character? He remembered Bones asking him if he hadn't noticed Spock being "a little off".

"Captain, I do not remember the exact moment when I contracted that virus, nor when they started to control me. However, I believe the most probable theory would be that Mr. Scott and the engineering team who were on the Romulan ship to repair their warp and impulse drives brought the virus on board. I remember having some disturbing dreams after that event which is not very common for Vulcans. I also remember feeling threatened by Dr. McCoy, which is why I wanted to avoid him first, and when I found out he was about to discover the virus, I wanted to ..."

Spock hesitated uncharactaristically, and before he had to finish the sentence, Kirk cut him off.

"But Commander Tamulok said his crew was suffering from the _Vulcan flu_."

"It is not the Vulcan flu, although it seems to be related to it. It is possible the virus mutated on their ship, or that they contracted it someplace else and mistook it for the virus that causes the Vulcan flu."

"Delihan said it had killed a third of the crew. Now, there's no evidence that this virus is deadly. And wouldn't it be highly illogical to kill the host you depend on for your survival?"

"We do not know how the infection will affect the body in long term. It is possible that it will ultimately kill the host. Although this is illogical behaviour, it is similar to the behaviour of many intelligent civilizations. In earth's 21st century, the human civilization came close to destroying the environment _they_ needed to survive."

"Well, we need to contain it. First, we must cure the Vuclans and the Romulans on that planet. We could shut off artificial gravity and transport them all into cargobay 1. What do you think?"

"I am uncertain if this would be permitted by the Prime Directive, Captain."

"What, killing a virus? Really, Spock, a virus isn't even a life form!"

"In the biochemical laboratory Dr. McCoy said he did not agree with that common doctrine. Captain, I think we also have established that it is intelligent."

"We have also established that it is a parasite which turns its hosts into zombies and wants to kill our doctors."

"As a means of self-preservation."

"Why didn't it try to communicate then, Spock? It had the means to. You said yourself you completly lost control over your actions. Hell, you almost killed Bones! Maybe you did, we don't even know yet if he's going to survive!"

Kirk hadn't meant to bring that up, however, he couldn't help himself. "Now, don't tell me you feel bad about eliminating a disease!" he almost shouted at Spock who only looked at him with an unreadable expression on his face.

He turned away and quietly said: "Jim, I normally would say _I don't feel anything_, but at this moment that wouldn't be the truth."

Kirk regretted his own emotional outbreak immediately. "I know, Spock. I - well, why don't we go to sickbay. As far as I can tell, the people on the planet are in no immediate danger."


	8. Chapter 8

Sickbay was a place Kirk associated with many things. _Relief_, and the feeling of _safety_, whenever he woke up in it. The soft beeping of medical instruments and the distinctive antiseptic smell, could be comforting and had often given him a feeling that everything was going to be alright. It could also mean the exact opposite, _worry, pain _and_ sorrow,_ when he'd sat on one of the hard chairs beside a bio-bed, waiting for a badly injured crewmember to regain consciousness - or take his last breath.

There was one constant: Bones. He was a comforting presence, either making sure he himself was feeling better, giving him something for the pain, telling him to rest, assuring him he was alright. Or he would stand beside him, laying a hand on his shoulder telling him to let it go. _You can't always win. _Just a few days ago, Bones had been lying in one of the bio-beds himself, which had shaken Jim up more than he'd realized at that moment, but at least, he had been _there_.

When Spock and he entered sickbay, and Bones was nowhere to be seen, Kirk briefly felt his knees give and he reached for the nearest bio-bed for support. A few beds further, he saw M'Benga lying unconscious with his head bandaged, on artificial respiration, looking pale, despite his dark skin.

Dr. Pulliam and Dr. Taylor were standing beside the bed, now looking over to him and Spock. Dr. Pulliam's eyes were red, as if she had been crying. _This can't be happening, _Kirk thought, there _had_ to be another explanation.

"Captain Kirk, Commander Spock!" Dr. Taylor greeted them with a tired smile, "We've sent Leonard to his quarters. He is resting," he quickly provided when he saw Kirk swaying and his face lose all colour.

"Then his injuries were not serious?" Spock had briefly put his hand on Jim's elbow to steady him, but he quickly let go. _Emotions_, he had them, although he didn't like having them, and he particularly disliked the emotion he felt right now - guilt. It was illogical. He hadn't been responsible, he'd tried to reason ever since he'd left the antigrav chamber. With not much effect.

"He lost a lot of blood. But no organs or main blood vessels were damaged. He was very lucky, actually. Had he been a Vulcan, he would have been stabbed right into the heart and he'd be dead now."

Kirk let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, and turned to look at Spock. He also seemed relieved.

"Spock, in the mess you said you stabbed him right into the heart. You probably tricked that virus into thinking its attack would be lethal."

"I do not remember doing such a thing, Captain. However, I am glad that the Doctor is alive."

Kirk smiled at Spock, then turned to face the doctors again.

"How is Dr. M'Benga?"

"He should make a full recovery, although his injuries were far more serious than Dr. McCoy's," Dr. Pulliam said. She held on to the bio-bed the doctor occupied, in order to steady herself, Kirk realized.

"We'll know more in 24 hours, Captain."

"Thank you," Kirk nodded at Dr. Taylor and then, to get Dr. Pulliam's attention, called her name.

"Dr. McCoy once told me, he thought of you as a brilliant doctor."

"He once told _me_, that I'd better go back to med school until I had learnt how to set a hypo," she said bitterly.

Kirk smiled at her. He could imagine Bones doing that. He wasn't said to be a particularly nice boss. However, he was sure that he hadn't meant it. "Well, I'll make sure to tell him you can do _that_ single handedly!"

"He apologised for it later, Captain. Still, ..."

"Captain, we've sent Leonard to his quarters, because he wouldn't stop fretting over Jabilo. He should rest. Would you mind paying him a visit? Maybe give him an order to stay in bed, or something?" Dr. Taylor cut her off.

Strange, there seemed to be something else on the young doctor's mind. However, maybe she was just exhausted.

"Yes, we'll do that," Kirk said, but thinking at the same time that an _order_ would probably not achieve anything with Bones. Maybe he could get him to make a _promise_ to stay in bed, as compensation for the scare he'd given him. Better yet, _Spock_ could get that promise from him. Spock felt awful and guilty about what happened, and Bones knew that, of course. So he'd probably promise Spock just about anything at the moment - though he'd later regret it.

"Spock, will you accompany me to our good doctor's quarters?"

"Yes, Captain. I will ask him to stay in bed until he has fully recovered."

Kirk blinked. Spock had obviously come to the same conclusion, which surprised him this time, because it involved an understanding and accepting not only of Bones' emotions, but also of his own. On the other hand Spock had already admitted of having emotions just before they'd come to sickbay.

"Great. Let's go then!" Kirk said, leading the way to Bones' quarters, feeling like a secret agent. His spirits were lifted again, another mission that could prove to be interesting.

o0o

He immediately felt guilty about feeling so giddy on the way to Bones, when they had entered and saw him lying on his bed, holding a padd to his chest.

He looked awful. White as the sheets, dark circles under his eyes and he was shivering slighty. He was awake but barely able to keep his eyes open when they greeted him.

"You look awful, Bones," Kirk said as he sat down on the bed. He took the padd from Bones' hands and handed it to Spock.

Bones snorted. "Well, no wonder, I ..." He stopped himself, looking at Spock who seemed to be engrossed into studying that padd. "I probably look much worse than I feel, thank you. How's Jabilo?"

"Dr. Taylor said he'll be fine." Kirk surpressed the urge to tuck the blanket around Bones' form. "You need another blanket? You're shivering."

"Yeah. That nurse piled a mountain of blankets on me, before she left. I threw most of them off. Couldn't _move_."

Kirk looked to the foot of the bed where a big pile of blankets lay. He picked one up and spread it over Bones who roled his eyes at such a fuss. "You're not _supposed_ to move, Bones." Kirk's eyes searched for Spock. _He should support me, jump in at this very moment_, Kirk thought. But instead he was still looking onto that padd.

"Fascinating." Spock finally said.

"Isn't it, Spock? I knew you'd find that interesting." Bones said enthusiastically, gaining some strength.

"What?" Kirk was annoyed. His plan to get Bones to rest was beginning to become sabotaged by the person whom he had thought of as his greatest ally.

"Jim. A virus is an interesting biological phenomenon. It is basically speaking nothing more than a DNA string which is able to bring living cells to replicate this DNA string instead of itself. Vulcan virologists have spent a lot of time researching the origin of the Vulcan flu virus," Bones started to lecture and then Spock joined in:

"With success, as I may add. The Vulcan Science Academy has concluded that the virus developed around the time of the Great Awakening, approximately 2000 of earth's years ago."

"That's right. And it's origin is a certain bacteria that befell an animal called _Tchorka_ which the people on Vulcan used mainly as a meat supplier. It looks sort of like a camel."

"Vulcans are vegetarians," Kirk said. Though he didn't really care. At the moment there were other things on his mind. One of them was to get Bones to shut up and rest.

"Not at that time, Captain. Before Surak taught us the way of logic, we were quite different, violent, very emotional, although technologically speaking, quite advanced and therefore on the verge of destroying ourselves."

_Spock, although I enjoy these rare occasions when you and Bones agree on something, I feel as if the two of you have teamed up against me, at the moment, _he thought, but didn't say anything.

"Right. Now, I did a little research myself and it seems that the virologists think that these bacteria in the _Tchorkas_ sort of dissolved under the influence of a certain gas which was emmitted by generators used to produce energy at that time. This gas, in combination with the radiation of Vulcan's sun, proved to be dangerous to other life forms as well, which is why they are not used anymore."

"You mean under the influence of that gas and Vulcan's sun the bacteria mutated into the virus?" _Get to the point, will you?_

"Not mutated. They _dissolved_ and the only thing that survived were lose DNA strings. One of them survived as that virus which then jumped over to other hosts. The bacteria are extinct today, as are the _Tchorkas_ by the way."

"Unfortunately when the _Tchorkas_ weren't needed as a source of food anymore, they slowly died out. It is one of the few unfortunate consequences of Surak's teachings. Another was the secession of the dissident group that later founded the Romulan Empire."

"What does all this have to do with the virus that is controlling the Vulcans and Romulans on that planet?" Jim felt somewhat dense. He hated it when his friends became all the scientists and let himself be in the dark.

"Well, that virus is very similar to the Vulcan flu virus. But it is more complex. It is not very likely that the Vulcan flu virus mutated to produce our zombie virus. What is more likely is that this virus developed on its own but from the same _source_ as the Vulcan flu virus." Bones patiently explained.

"You mean from your bacteria?"

"Yes, in combination with the gas from the energy generators and radiation."

"Fascinating. Captain, we need to search the planet for ruins and other signs of a past civilization again."

"What? Forgive me, but I think what we _need_ to do is save the people on the planet, and then get out of here as fast as we can! We're in the neutral zone, and although there are special circumstances, this is a violation of our treaty with Romulus," Kirk said. Actually it had just come to him that the Romulans were able to detect their presence in the neutral zone. Hopefully, they wouldn't make the acquaintance with the Romulan fleet in the near future.

"Jim, what he suspects is this: When the Romulans defected from Vulcan they took their space ships, and supplies into the direction of Romulus to found their own world. They would have taken some _Tchorkas,_ as well, and energy generators. So, it is possible that the same thing that happened on Vulcan, also happened in their colony, only that the virus that appeared in their colony was our zombie virus and not the Vulcan flu."

"If that was the case, then the Romulans should know about the virus. But they didn't. Tamulok's crew was so sick that they couldn't keep up maintenance of their own engines. Many of them died, too."

"Some historians believe that the Vulcans _who marched beneath the raptor's wings_, did not settle on Romulus first. There is evidence that they built up a colony on another planet which was destroyed. This colony has never been found, although archeologists have searched for it. It is said to have been a very rich and thriving colony. Many legends surround it, and the Vulcan Science Academy came to the conclusion that _Vor-ka-ri_ is just that, a legend. Similar to your earth's Atlantis. Now, the Romulans and Vulcans stopped _here_, so it is possible that this the place of the virus' origin."

"But, if that planet is your Vor-ka-ri, where are its inhabitants?"

"If the legends are true, the colony was completely destroyed and the survivors fled the planet to what is now Romulus."

"Why didn't they take the virus with them, then?"

"Space ships at that time usually did not have artificial gravity, at least not everywhere on the ship."

"So the virus was killed on their way to Romulus, but it could have survived on the planet. A virus can befall just about anything, animals, plants, fungi even bacteria," Bones said smiling triumphantly, but still looking as if he was about to keel over.

"That colony could hardly have been thriving," Kirk mused, smoothing out the blankets over Bones, "those people on the planet were nothing but sloths. Slurping up these sugary fruit."

"I've been thinking about that too, Jim. We ... know it is able to control its host. It is probably able to do so after it has reached a certain number within its hosts body. Maybe there's something like swarm intelligence. The more ... the more of them there are, the more in-telligent they become."

"Fascinating. We already know that they can communicate with each other across their different hosts, Captain. You said that all of them suddenly tried to attack you on the planet. Maybe, if there are enough of them, we will be able to communicate."

"Spock. Are you suggesting to wait until the virus is intelligent enough to negotiate?" Kirk turned to look at Spock, then back at Bones, who was beginning to sweat.

"Jim, there's ... still the danger th-that it can kill its host. Many - many of Tamulok's crew were killed by it."

"Yes. And I will not wait until that happens. We'll beam them up into cargobay 1 and then shut off artificial gravity which should cure everyone, and Spock, I don't want ..."

McCoy could feel himself drifting. He knew he had overexerted himself. If he were his own patient, he'd be furious right now. Black dots were dancing in front of him. Jim was discussing the Prime Directive with Spock, he realized. He used the time to rest his eyes, just for a few moments.

When he came to, he realized he wasn't in his quarters anymore, but back in sickbay. _Great! I'll never hear the end of it_, he thought, but then he fell asleep again.


	9. Chapter 9

Kirk was tapping his finger impatiently on the tansporter console. They had been sending the Vulcans back to their ship for the past half hour. The Romulans were yet to go and also Captain Saluk was still on board, talking with Spock about the Vulcan _Atlantis_.

Between beaming the parties of six back to the P'Jem, Scotty and Uhura gave Kirk a brief summary of what they had found out on the Romulan scout. Which was not much actually.

"Tamulok has deleted most of the log, Captain, or it was destroyed. The records start with our engineers coming on board their ship." Uhura said.

"Why did they stop here?"

"Well, that is also left in the dark, but we know they've been here before. The entry stated that they're here _again_."

"Do they have a name for that planet?" Kirk asked. He knew Spock believed this planet to be an important site for Vulcan and Romulan history. A place of myths and legends. Something like a Utopia. A Vulcan, no Romulan Utopia? Strange that Bones could get so excited about _that_.

Kirk swallowed. They had called for a stretcher to get Bones into sickbay again, when he had passed out. He had literally talked himself unconscious. What left a sour taste in his mouth, was that Kirk had seen it coming, and still didn't do anything. On the other hand he was also mad at Bones for not taking better care of himself. But what just about infuriated him was, that Spock, who had been the cause of Bones' injury in the first place, hadn't stopped that discussion before it was too late. And then he'd never asked once about Bones' condition, but gone all excited about that Vor-ka-ri, informed Saluk, asked the database, and what not. _Bones is your friend. Now, it seems you're not even interested if he's going to be alright!_

"_..._, sir?" Uhura had said something, and he hadn't paid any attention, Kirk realized. He smiled apologetically at her. "Sorry, Lieutenant. You were saying?"

"They just said: _Here_. Is it true, that this planet is the ancient Vulcan Eden?"

_Great. Now Uhura's infected, too. _"Eden? Well, I am not sure how Vulcans would picture "Eden", but there was not much there, except for grass, some stones and these funny pink looking fruit."

"Well, sir, there was something strange going on with their shields," Scotty piped up. He was not really interested in Vulcan myths, either, Kirk could tell.

"Their shields?"

"Well, I wanted to scan their cloaking device. But I couldn't find it. I stopped looking when I saw this strange looking generator that must have something to do with their shields."

"Maybe an amplifier?"

"That's what I thought at first, but it didn't look like it belonged there at all. I could only see that it slightly changes the shield's frequency, but I can't imagine whatever _that _could be good for. I scanned the whole thing and brought loads of data with me. Can't wait to analyse it. I'd like Spock to take a look at it, too."

"Yes, well Spock might be interested. Maybe it is something that these Romulans found on the planet, although I can't imagine it. There really wasn't anything there."

"Captain, what will we do with the Romulans?"

"Well, the mission was for the P'Jem to escort them back to their territory. I don't see why this should be changed now."

As if on cue, Captain Saluk appeared in the transporter room, Spock beside him and said without further ado: "Captain, I must inform Tamulok that we are taking him and his crew to Vulcan."

"What? We can't make them prisoners, Saluk!" Kirk said, a little confused. Surely Saluk and Spock knew that. What would Starfleet Command say?

"We are not. We merely need to discuss the discovery of Vor-ka-ri with him. The planet is in the neutral zone, so neither Vulcans nor Romulans have the right to investigate it. This is not acceptable. We need to negotiate the boundaries of the neutral zone again, or another treaty that will allow both parties to explore Vor-kar-ri."

"Well, you are very sure that that planet is your lost colony," Kirk said. "We can't just take a Romulan scout and her crew to Federation space. The Romulans could interpret that as abduction."

"Captain, we've already contacted Starfleet Command. They agree, that under these circumstances Tamulok must be brought to Vulcan. If we just escort him back, we may never get the chance of negotiating," Spock said patiently.

Kirk felt pressure building up inside him. "Oh, so you've contacted Starfleet Command. And why wasn't I informed?"

"Captain Kirk, you are acting in a very emotional manner. We did not disregard your command nor did we question your authority. We simply conferred with our superiors in this matter. You do not understand the importance of our discovery for the Vulcan people."

Kirk fumed. This arrogant son of a bitch had not _once_ thanked them for their rescue, nor had he expressed his regret for the death of his own four human crewmen or the injury of M'Benga.

"_Your_ discovery, Saluk? As I see it, _you_ only discovered the taste of the pink fruit on that planet."

"It was Doctor McCoy who drew the correct conclusions, and who brought his discoveries to my attention, Captain Saluk," Spock explained.

"At this moment it is not important who it was that discovered Vor-ka-ri. There is enough time for awarding medals and giving honoristic speeches which you humans value so much. At present you need to inform Commander Tamulok, so that we can depart the neutral zone."

Kirk balled his fists. It was true, however. He turned on his heels to the comm and ordered Tamulok to be brought to the conference room.

"I did not mean to imply that Doctor McCoy wants an award, Captain. I was only stating a fact. It is illogical to ignore the truth, even at a moment like this," Spock said, and just for a second, it made Kirk smile.


	10. Chapter 10

Alright, this story has developed a life of its own. It has not much to do with the summary anymore, so I may change that.

Anyway, I hope you'll still stick with it. The next chapter will be the last of this story, but I'm going to make this into a series of seven stories the first two being "Pride" and "Sloth".

o0o

Commander Tamulok was neither surprised nor angry when they told him about Starfleet's plans with him and his ship. This surprised Kirk once again. He'd heard Romulans were rather passionate and other than their Vulcan relatives they were said to carry their emotions very close to the surface.

Maybe this still had something to do with that virus? But Spock _and_ Dr. Taylor had confirmed that there was no trace of the virus left in their system. The virus could not survive for long within the human body so it was unlikely that they had contracted it once again aboard the Enterprise.

However, when this was all over, they needed to decontaminate the whole ship, just to be sure. They had done so for the P'Jem and the Romulan scout already. With no one on board this could be done easily. It was a different matter for the Enterprise. Gravity was needed to function normally, Kirk had realized, and he didn't want to risk his engineers and bridge crew floating around when there was an emergency.

"I see you are puzzled, Captain," Tamulok said to Kirk in the transporter room. The last of his crew had just been beamed back to his ship.

"What makes you think that?" Kirk asked, and briefly wondered if he was being "unpatriotic" just because he found the Romulan Commander more congenial than the Vulcan captain.

"I can read and understand emotions better than a Vulcan, Captain. You think I should be angry with you for being deported to Vulcan along with my crew."

"Well, you are considered to be "guests". But you've actually hit the mark!"

"Yes. I consider our discovery the most important for the Romulan Empire in recent history, Captain. I've always been fascinated by our ancient history. Vor-ka-ri is a myth, a legend, it is a place of religious meaning to us, and it could also initiate a cautious approach towards our Vulcan cousins. Although we have our differences, we're still of the same blood. I agree with Captain Saluk that we _must_ find a way to be able to study the ruins."

"Surely, you don't need to be on Vulcan to negotiate?" Kirk was becoming suspicious. He hadn't seen any ruins on that planet, why did Tamulok speak of them now?

"My government is not interested in myths. They will just shoot at you when they come across your ships here in the neutral zone. You will need a strategy for negotiations, one that I'm willing to work out with your authorities."

"You do not match the Federation's picture of a Romulan Commander who is loyal to the Empire."

"We may not value individuality as much as you do, but we _are_ individuals as well. I may not be a stereotypical Romulan, but I _am_ Romulan, and I _am_ loyal to the Empire. I just do not agree with all its politics. My government wants to stay isolated, I hate to say it, but in my opinion this is a sign of being paranoid. We need not fear the Federation, we can outpower your fleet at anytime."

"I'm sure you can," Kirk smiled at him, this guy was strangely charming, he had to admit. He needed to be careful. "What about your crew? Do they agree with you?"

"My crew is loyal to the Empire. But above all, they're loyal to me. To quote one of your human proverbs: _They're loyal to a fault._"

Kirk raised his eyebrows. A Romulan commander quoting a human proverb? Just how much did they know about the Federation? They were masters of espionage and deceit, and he was sure that this was not just another stereotype.

"Well, Commander ...," Kirk was about to send Tamulok off with his best wishes, when suddenly the Red Alert went off and Spock requested his presence on the bridge.

"Five Romulan warbirds decloaked ahead of us, Captain. Our shields are up, but they outpower the combined weapons of the Enterprise and the P'Jem at least threefold. If they wish, they can destroy us. I suggest to negotiate."

_Great. I've seen it coming - again,_ Kirk thought bitterly, and nodded to Tamulok to follow him to the bridge.

o0o

"Satus?" Kirk barked at no one in particular when he entered the bridge. The Romulan Commander had followed him and was now standing behind him, staring at the screen which showed the five Romulan vessels.

"They're hailing us, sir," Uhura reported.

"Put them through."

"This is Commander Valdran of the Romulan Alliance, you are violating our treaties and you are holding a Romulan vessel hostage, lower your shields and prepare to be entered," the female Romulan Commander demanded in a tone that could freeze over hell, Uhura thought. She risked a glance at Tamulok. He would explain the situation and appease her, wouldn't he?

"This is Captain James Kirk. I assure you, our intentions are peaceful. The Romulan scout is not our hostage. Commander Tamulok is our guest," Kirk said, taking a step to the side to let Valdran see their Romulan "guest".

"Tamulok?" she seemed surprised, excited even, but schooled her features back to her cold and demanding expression.

"Jolan tru, Valdran. I am relieved to see you. From your being here, I gather the rebellion has gained the upper hand within the Empire?" Tamulok smiled at her in a somewhat cheesy way, Uhura observed. Moreover, she realized that Tamulok wasn't speaking Romulan, but a language that the whole bridge personnel could understand, and he had just given them the information that there was a civil war waging in the Romulan Empire. These five warbirds were obviously a part of the rebel forces. The question was, on which side was Tamulok? And what would this mean for them?

"Jolan tru, Commander. What are you doing on the Federation ship?"

"We have formed a temporary alliance," Tamulok said, still smiling.

Valdran frowned and held up a fist in rage. "You formed an alliance with the enemies of all Romulans! You have betrayed your people!"

"Now, Valdran, you need to control yourself. We are all traitors of the Romulan Star Empire, are we not?"

"Speak for yourself. _We_ are the liberators of the Romulan people. _We_ are no traitors! Lower your shields or we will open fire."

"Please, Valdran. I will explain. Just give me a minute. ... We will lower our shields," Tamulok turned to Uhura and made a sign to cut off communication.

Uhura looked at Kirk, who nodded his approval and then turned Tamulok around in a fit of rage. For a moment there, she'd been sure he would hit him in the face and break his nose, or something. Instead, he just clarified:

"We will _not_ lower our shields, Tamulok, nor are we allies. Now, if you can't bring her to back off, we will open fire."

"You can't. She will destroy you," Tamulok sounded as if he was talking to a child.

"That's what I'm counting on. Either she destroys us, or we self-destruct. We will not surrender ourselves to the enemy."

Uhura began to feel truely uneasy now. For some reason she had thought that they would find a way out of this situation, they always had, and Kirk had never given up, even if the situation had been hopeless. She hoped her captain was bluffing, only if he did, he was damn good at it.

"Captain, Valdran is dangerous. She is the leader of the Romulan Alliance, a rebellious group that has drawn the Empire into a civil war. She thinks I'm on her side. I am not. I want her and her group dead. I know how to destroy all five warbirds and leave your ships intact. You've got to trust me."

"Trust, Tamulok, is something that needs to be earned. And you have done nothing of the kind, so far."

"I know. But there is no time. Lower your shields and tell the Vulcan ship to do the same."

"Captain, at this point, it does not make a difference. Shields or not, Valdran is able to destroy us," Spock said.

"If we lower our shields, they can beam aboard. And we will be entered."

"Please, Captain. My ship has got a generator on board that modifies the shield so that it can be used as a weapon. If you place a simple phaser shot at this area," Tamulok had walked over to Spock's console and now pointed at an area of the map of the scout which was displayed there, "it will produce oscillations within the shields of all vessels in the vicinity, resulting in their immediate destruction."

"Mr. Scott did find a generator that was connected to their shields, Captain," Uhura pointed out.

Kirk turned to face Tamulok. "You would kill your own people, Commander?"

"At the moment they are greater enemies of the Empire than you are, Captain. Don't you know the human proverb: _The enemy of my enemy is my friend_?"

"You know many human proverbs, Tamulok," Kirk observed. He couldn't be trusted, he was sure of that now. However, at the moment it seemed as if they both had the same interests, namely to escape these five warbirds.

"Uhura, inform the P'Jem. Code Blue. Chekov, when the P'Jem has lowered her shields do the same and then fire phasers at the given coordinates."

"Aye, Captain," Chekov answered. Lowering the shields while facing five Romulan warbirds was something that he'd definitely never done before, and had never thought he'd ever would do. Well, being at the helm of Starfleet's flagship meant it never got boring. If this was the last order he'd fulfill, well then at least his life had been interesting. He watched his instruments. _Bljad_.

"Captain, two of the warbirds are powering up their weapons," he said.

"What about the P'Jem's shields?" Kirk demanded.

"Still up." Chekov was thankful that he had his instruments to look at, and that his Captain asked him about them, although he was looking over his shoulder at the moment and could see for himself. But it gave him something to do, and the impression that he was being useful.

"Lower our shields!" Kirk gave the command, and Chekov complied automatically.

Nothing happened. Pavel resumed breathing. But then ...

"They're firing at the P'Jem!" he shouted. Everyone could see that. Two very neatly placed shots were fired, and caused an explosion.

"The P'Jem's shields have failed," Chekov reported triumphantly, feeling bad immediately, but no one seemed to have noticed his misplaced emotions.

"Fire at the scout!" Kirk gave the order and Chekov heard Tamulok behind him take in a satisfied breath.

Then his world seemed to fall into slow motion. The shields of the small Romulan scout lighted up in a bright green, that seemed to ignite the other five Romulan ships which suddenly started to glow in pulsating intervals. One - two - three, each becoming more intense than the preceding pulse.

Instinctively Chekov groped for something to hold onto when with the fifth and last pulse all six Romulan ships, the warbirds and Tamulok's ship, exploded in a massive detonation that blinded him. The Enterprise was rocked hard, alarms went off, there was shouting, and he smelled smoke and burnt flesh.

Nausea was claiming him and he realized his hands felt as if he was holding them into boiling hot water. He wanted to scream but inhaled smoke and only started coughing.

"Mr. Chekov, you've done it! You've sent these pointy eared Romulans to Vorta Vor," he heard Kirk say.

"What else do you know about us, Captain?"

"I know that you are unscrupulous when it comes to sacrificing your own crew."

The rest was jumbled. He coughed again, the last thing he heard was Kirk, calling him by his first name, "Come on, Pavel, keep breathing."

_This is not a good sign_, he realized, and then lost consciousness.


	11. Chapter 11

If you look for it, you'll find reference to "Bread and Circuses" and "All our yesterdays" - but you really have to look!

o0o

McCoy opened his eyes just a bit, determined to hide that he was awake, but still wanting to know what was going on.

All he could see were two feet swinging apart and then together again. _Someone is sitting on the bio-bed next to me_, _probably Jim, waiting for me to wake up so that he can give me a lecture about how I don't follow what I preach, _he thought. He didn't quite feel up to facing Jim, and so instead of looking up, he decided to close his eyes again and feign sleeping. That's when the swinging stopped. _Damn, too late. _He still closed his eyes again, _maybe Jim will show some mercy_.

There was a loud thud, when the boots hit the floor, and he felt a rush of air, then the mattress on his bio-bed was dented in.

"I know you're awake!" It was Jim's voice coming from above him.

He opened his eyes and squinted up at Jim who looked tired, but quite happy, and not at all as if he was about to start preaching. He let out a breath of relief.

"Hi, Jim."

The captain was smiling, his eyes sparkling. He was propping himself on the bio-bed with both hands, bending over McCoy's face.

"Is that all you have to say?" he asked. He had planned to yell at him, holding before him that his actions had been irresponsible and that he should imagine what he'd have done if one of his patients had behaved in the way _he_ had. But now he couldn't quite bring himself to do it. He was just happy that they'd gotten themselves out of this mess with only a few scratches. Although, that might have been an understatement_._

They had just managed to leave the neutral zone when the warp engine failed. They had sustained quite some damage in the explosions that destroyed the Romulan ships and there had been many casualties, fortunately no one was killed, though.

Right now, they were towing the P'Jem at impulse speed towards the nearest starbase, where the two ships needed to undergo extensive repairs. Sickbay's chief medical officer _and_ his deputy had been seriously hurt, so they were short of medical staff to tend to the injured.

Kirk smiled inwardly, _Bones will love this_, but he would wait for the right moment to tell him. Right now, he made himself stare at his friend with as much reproach in his eyes as he could manage.

McCoy sighed. He needed to divert Jim's anger to something, or _someone_ else. "Jim, just so that I know, where I am at: Who are you most mad at - me, Spock, or yourself?" Jim was prone to feel responsible for everyone and everything, so if he didn't already feel guilty, he probably would now. McCoy felt bad for manipulating Jim that way, but it was pure self-defense!

"You," Jim lied, "and I know what you're trying to do."

"We spend far too much time together."

"What you did was not only irresponsible behaviour towards yourself, but also towards Enterprise's crew. We are short of a doctor already."

McCoy tried to sit up at that, only to find that Kirk, anticipating his movements, had already put a restraining hand on his chest.

"How's M'Benga?" he asked.

"He'll be alright. But it'll take time," Kirk answered.

"What happened? Are we still in orbit of that planet?"

"No, we're back in Federation territory and we'll arrive at starbase 3 in two days," Kirk said, his hand still firm on McCoy's chest, "We've had a run-in with more Romulans and suffered some damage in an explosion."

"Casualties?" McCoy sounded worried and tried to sit up once more.

"Shh, stay where you are! No one died, but many were injured. Chekov burnt his hands and inhaled a lot of smoke when his station caught fire."

"Jim, I'm concerned. Dr. Taylor is experienced, but Dr. Pulliam is very young. It may be too much for them to handle. You should really let me ..."

"Doctor McCoy! Your condition dictates that you rest."

That voice! McCoy was sure he didn't know the woman that it belonged to. The words made him suspicious. Jim wouldn't have ... or would he?

"What? Who?" he tried to sit up once more, and once more he had to be held down.

"Bones? I'd like to introduce you to Dr. T'Plok. Saluk was kind enough to send her over as an asset to our medical staff."

"Hello, Doctor! It's a pleasure to meet you," the Vulcan said, coming into his line of vision, extending her hand somewhat awkwardly towards McCoy.

"Wha ... you ... . Pleasure? Why that?" He was confused. Not only because suddenly there was a Vulcan doctor amongst his sickbay staff, but also because of what she'd said.

"I beg your forgiveness. Is that not an appropriate greeting amongst humans?" she looked as if she was disappointed, or maybe McCoy just imagined she did.

"Uh, no. I mean. I am sorry, doctor. I - well, thank you."

"I have been studying human customs, Doctor McCoy. I find them fascinating, although, or maybe even _because_ they often seem like a riddle to me. I hope I will make a good doctor for the Enterprise's crew."

McCoy looked at Kirk, who was somewhat dumbfounded as well. This T'Plok was not at all, as he expected her to be, and he was pleased with that. "You already have, doctor."

She nodded. Then looked at McCoy again.

"Well, Dr. T'Plok," McCoy addressed the middle aged Vulcan, "I think I don't need to be here any longer?"

She glanced at Kirk and then back at McCoy, before she answered: "I think you should be where you feel the most comfortable, Doctor. Although, I have the order to keep you here until you "have gotten it through your thick head, that you are not well"," she said and then turned to Kirk who had raised an eyebrow at her, to say: "Captain, with all due respect, I believe it is best for the recovery of Doctor McCoy to let him go to his quarters and rest there."

"Yes, Jim!" McCoy smirked. He _liked_ her.

Kirk sighed. He'd known the Vulcan doctor would mean trouble. He just hadn't thought of _this_ kind of trouble, then.

"Whatever's best. But I warn you, if I see you doing anything but resting, I will have you put in restraints!"

"Captain, to put restraints on Doctor McCoy is not only illogical but highly unethical as well. I will not ..."

Kirk held up a hand. "You're new on the Enterprise, Doctor, or you wouldn't say that, believe me. Now, how are the rest of the patients doing?"

"They are doing as expected," the doctor said. "Ensign Chekov is still on artificial respiration. But he should be able to breathe on his own in the next hours. It will be quite painful though. His trachea has been damaged by the burning smoke."

Kirk nodded.

"Don't let him wake up too early, then. It doesn't hurt letting him sleep until the worst of the pain has passed!" McCoy said, finally succeeding in pushing himself up into a sitting position and straining to decipher the readings above Chekov's bio-bed.

"I see what you mean, Captain," T'Plok just said. "Doctor McCoy, now that you're already sitting up, you should eat something. If you don't experience any discomfort after that, I will release you to your quarters _if_ you promise to stay in bed and rest."

He looked at her, his sympathy for her starting to fade. "I ... promise?"

"You've raised your voice at the end of the sentence. Did you mean to formulate a question?"

"No?"

T'Plok raised an eyebrow and looked at Kirk for help, who had turned so that she couldn't see his face.

"A riddle," she mumbled and turned to call for a nurse to bring some food.

McCoy was now taking a good look at his sickbay. He was in a more secluded part of it, but he could see M'Benga and Ensign Chekov, who were both unconsious, surrounded by machines. Sickbay must be full to the brink if they'd put these two in here together with him. He was glad, that Kirk had requested another doctor. Vulcan, or not, it was better than leaving all these patients to the two resident doctors on Enterprise who had been on duty since forever and were probably dead on their feet with exhaustion at the moment.

"Jim?" he asked, sounding subdued. It made Jim turn and look at him instantly, with concern etched into his face.

"What is it, Bones?"

"Well, I am sorry. Really."

"I know, Bones. Please, don't forget to take care of yourself. I - I don't know what I'd do if I lost you," Kirk looked at him with such sincere and pleading eyes, that McCoy couldn't hold them for long.

He averted his eyes, feeling the threat of tears there. Damnit, how could he have let his captain get so close to him? He'd thought he'd learned a long time ago not to let people into his heart, it just hurt so much to lose them. He looked at his fingers in his lap picking at the blanket.

"It's the way I am, Jim. But I will try ... for your sake."

Kirk nodded and put a hand on what he suspected was Bones' foot under the blanket.

"Jim?"

"Yeah?"

"You're not mad at Spock, are you?"

Kirk hesitated. Actually, he was. Not because he had attacked Bones, but because he hadn't been interested in Bones' health after he had been taken to sickbay again.

And _where _was he _now_? He had talked with Commander Tamulok about that Vulcan or Romulan utopian colony, ever since they had been sure that the Enterprise and the P'Jem would make it safely to the starbase.

"Maybe a little."

"Jim, I think he is avoiding me, because he ... well, because he feels embarrassed. And guilty. Maybe he's even afraid that I will blame him. Which of course, I wouldn't. I mean, Jim, he's half human. And he probably is experiencing some feelings now, that he has no idea of how to deal with. I think you should talk to him. Be a friend!"

The nurse came with a tray of food and placed it on a table at the side of the bed. McCoy swung his legs over the edge and took a look at it. It was as if the nurse hadn't been sure as to what he would like. There was a variety of foods there, that resembled the evening buffet at a hotel on Risa. A very _cheap_ hotel on Risa, he thought, after having examined the food more closely. Or maybe a roadside motel on the Klingon homeworld ... a very _cheap_ motel.

He picked at an indefinable mass that he identified as pasta salad only after a thorough analysis.

"Ugh, that looks like it has already been eaten and digested!" he commented, then carefully dipped his spoon into the chicken soup. He _was_ hungry, he realized.

Kirk was lost in thought. Bones was probably right. He should talk to Spock, only he still thought that Spock ought to at least come and ...

As if on cue, Spock appeared, accompanied by T'Plok. The two Vulcans studied McCoy who was focused on eating the soup. When he noticed his visitor he put down his spoon and smiled genuinly at Spock.

"Hi Spock! Good to see you!"

"Doctor McCoy! I came to see if you were following the Doctor's orders," he said.

"Of course I am," he answered, his smile fading a bit.

"Doctor T'Plok doesn't have much practical experience with humans and none with you, so I thought I might be of help."

"What do you mean, "she's got no experience with me"? You make it sound like I'm some obscure and exotic animal with special needs."

"Mr. Spock told me you were the "worst patient of the entire crew of the Enterprise", Doctor. But I believe, he has exaggerated," T'Plok informed her patient.

"Yes, he has, Doctor," McCoy said to her, finding an unexpected ally in her once again. She nodded and left to tend to Chekov.

"Spock! Take a chair! Have some pasta salad!" McCoy invited him.

Spock looked as if he was going to object, but then complied.

"Well, Spock? What are you doing here?" Kirk hadn't meant to sound so biting, but he still was feeling a bit angry at his first officer.

"I came to ... ask for Doctor McCoy's ... advice."

McCoy almost choked on a noodle. That was unexpected!

"My advice?"

"Yes. Doctor, the Captain told me that you asked him not to blame me for the attack on you."

"Yes?"

"I know that I was controlled by the virus at the time I stabbed you."

"Right."

"It is illogical to blame me, because I had no control over my actions then."

"Correct. Highly illogical, Spock." McCoy had an idea where this was going. And although he felt for Spock, he couldn't stop himself from feeling some kind of triumph. Finally Spock was admitting to his human half. He only regretted that it was causing him so much pain.

"I believe my human half cannot be controlled at the moment, for I _feel _... guilt." Spock looked at him with big, dark eyes that made McCoy look away, once more. Hell, why couldn't he hold his friends' gaze today?

"Well, what do you want me to do? What you feel is _human_, Spock, although, it _is_ illogical and although _I'm_ not blaming you. Denying your human half won't help you either. Accept it, and you'll eventually learn to live with it," he pushed the tray of food away. He wasn't hungry anymore.

"I am not denying my human half, Doctor."

"You aren't?"

"No. I am actually quite grateful for it. If it hadn't been for my human half, you'd most certainly be dead."

Kirk and McCoy both looked at Spock in surprise. The other Vulcans and Romulans hadn't been able to control the virus _at all_. Spock had, he had attacked McCoy, but he hadn't "finished the job", it was possible that Spock's human genes had prevented the virus from fully taking control.

_Thank god_, Jim thought. Once more, Bones had been right. Spock really felt guilty and he probably had tried to avoid Bones because of it. Now, he even seeked his help. To admit to feelings in front of Bones was something Spock always tried to avoid. By doing it now, he proved how much he trusted Bones - and how much his feelings of guilt were actually hurting him.

Bones studied Spock's face, and after a while he said simply: "Spock, I feel honoured to be your friend."

Then he resumed eating. After a few more spoons he motioned to the pasta salad in Spock's hand.

"You don't have to eat that!"

Spock put it back on the tray. "I am ... relieved, Doctor. Thank you."

"Your need to express your gratitude is ... illogical here, Spock," he said, smiling. He had waited a long time for payback, but finally, it had come!

The End o000

To be continued ...

Will Chekov and M'Benga recover?

What will happen with the Romulan Commander?

Will Bones get an award from the Vulcan Science Academy?

How will Bones get rid of that Vulcan doctor?

And _where_ are Sulu and Nurse Chapel?

Questions that _might_ be answered in the next part :-)! Thanks to all readers and reviewers!


End file.
